Remember the good old days of analogue radio where you had this knob on your radio which you have to turn to get to the station you want? At times, you get the station but there is still lots of white noise and you try and you try to get that crisp sound… and sometimes, you just cannot get it. Either the antenna is not angled optimally to catch the waves or you are in the wrong place with lots of signal interference or obstruction from other objects.
That’s how I feel at every crossroad of my life. I know that my life, like the radio channel, can be crisp, but no matter how I try, I’m not there yet. And at every crossroad, I’m turning that knob a little more to the left or the right to calibrate, to tune in. Sometimes, I do reach crispness but due to overzealousness, I tune myself out again.
I’ve met so many crossroads in my life that I’m so tired of meeting another one. How I wish I am right smack in the middle of doing what I really like to do and what I’m really good at. I think I might be close, but not there yet. And that is what’s keeping me tired.
Regardless, I tread on. With every twist and turn, I hear and see things that I would not have learned if I had not been on this detour. With every twist and turn, my agility and strength improve. With every twist and turn, I learn more about humans and about myself. With every twist and turn, I gain more equilibrium, momentum and focus.
The reason why we turn that knob over and over again is because we know that the crisp sound of music is there… it’s just a matter of fine tuning till we get it.
Some people live do with the fuzzy sound. I want that crisp sound.
It’s tiring. But I guess I just have to go on twisting and turning if I want to achieve and enjoy the crisp music.